first post of the year..

And I'm already stressed out to the max. It's funny how easily stressed out I can get. I'm so thankful for those 30 minute massages Santa gave me! Here's the deal:

I'm trying to lose weight. how many calories can i eat, how many have I already had, how many calories are in this or that, and can i still have my mtn dews, cafeteria food is too gross, healthy food is too expensive, did i work out today, does walking to class count, or should i do another richard simmons dvd? did i burn enough calories today, did i get enough protein, am i going to have enough energy to get up and do it all tomorrow?

School. i have to make good grades this semester so i can get good scholarships at MS State. I have to get into State, transcript requests, scholarship applications, student loan? fastweb, essays, not to mention homework at the school i'm in now. homework, ugh, up late studying, up early to class, all the rest of time with the play. ugh the play, no costume, lots of solos, little dancing, makeup, shoes, accent, stress, 6 am call on opening day for a sold out audience, better get an award for this.

awards. the allies are coming up. am i nominated, is my company nominated, are my friends nominated? do i have a date, do I WANT a date, will date even show up if i ask him? tickets, gotta pay for tickets, do i pay for my date, is my family paying, do i even want to GO?

Starkville, MSU, application, scholarship, apartment? apartment, furnishing apartment, paying for utilities, rent, cable, phone, water... roommate? who knows? not spending a penny until i can pay for my apartment, furnish my apartment, afford to eat in my apartment. no money. broke. not paying for haircuts, makeup, clothes, jewelry, breaking habits are hard. earning money, allowance, extra money, work study, Lord, I hope.

Camp. Lakeside, great, fun, love that place! Riverview, more pay, unfamiliar, unknown, scary. God's will? pray He'll speak up so I can hear it. Lakeside, things to do, dances, powerpoints, fundraisers, games, bookmarks, t-shirts, 53 things on the list... so far. Plan Plan Plan

This is why I don't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep for 2 weeks now without a sleeping aid of some kind. Its frustrating because this is all I think of anymore. If I had to think of anything else, I'd explode. Pray that I'll be able to prioritize these things and get my life a lot less frantic!!