Life still won't slow down any. Now I have a job to worry about and school is actually starting to pick up. I'm struggling to keep up with my homework and it's tough at times. Luckily though, my job as a tutor is pretty laid back and most of the time I can use the time I spend there on my own homework. It's lovely. It gives me an excuse to calm down and breathe every once in a while. :)
The play is a big fat pain in my behind and if I didn't care so much about my cast and how they would be affected, I'd quit. I come to rehearsal to sit on the stage, and watch everyone else dance and sing. and then I get yelled at for something that I didn't do and it's embarrassing and dumb. That's really all I can say about that. I was doing really well saving money (except some dorm expenses I wasn't expecting to pay, but when you run out of TP and you're the only one in the dorm, you make sacrifices--financial sacrifices). But I've spent more money on this show than I have ANYTHING else. It's incredibly ridiculous.
I'm so excited about camp this summer. I know it's still almost 5 months away, but interviews and suggestions for this summer are already underway and I can't wait. God is going to work so BIG in that place! Just thinking about it makes me happy.
Mom comes home today with her new body! I'm excited for her; she deserves to have the body she's worked so hard to get. I'm so proud! I cleaned her house today and let me just say that scrubbing bathtubs and floors is a great work-out. my back and abs haven't hurt so much since... well since tuesday when i got out of pilates. :)
anyway, that's it for today I think. I still have to go to class until one, work until four thirty, and rehearsal at six!!
And I'm already stressed out to the max. It's funny how easily stressed out I can get. I'm so thankful for those 30 minute massages Santa gave me! Here's the deal:
I'm trying to lose weight. how many calories can i eat, how many have I already had, how many calories are in this or that, and can i still have my mtn dews, cafeteria food is too gross, healthy food is too expensive, did i work out today, does walking to class count, or should i do another richard simmons dvd? did i burn enough calories today, did i get enough protein, am i going to have enough energy to get up and do it all tomorrow?
School. i have to make good grades this semester so i can get good scholarships at MS State. I have to get into State, transcript requests, scholarship applications, student loan? fastweb, essays, not to mention homework at the school i'm in now. homework, ugh, up late studying, up early to class, all the rest of time with the play. ugh the play, no costume, lots of solos, little dancing, makeup, shoes, accent, stress, 6 am call on opening day for a sold out audience, better get an award for this.
awards. the allies are coming up. am i nominated, is my company nominated, are my friends nominated? do i have a date, do I WANT a date, will date even show up if i ask him? tickets, gotta pay for tickets, do i pay for my date, is my family paying, do i even want to GO?
Starkville, MSU, application, scholarship, apartment? apartment, furnishing apartment, paying for utilities, rent, cable, phone, water... roommate? who knows? not spending a penny until i can pay for my apartment, furnish my apartment, afford to eat in my apartment. no money. broke. not paying for haircuts, makeup, clothes, jewelry, breaking habits are hard. earning money, allowance, extra money, work study, Lord, I hope.
Camp. Lakeside, great, fun, love that place! Riverview, more pay, unfamiliar, unknown, scary. God's will? pray He'll speak up so I can hear it. Lakeside, things to do, dances, powerpoints, fundraisers, games, bookmarks, t-shirts, 53 things on the list... so far. Plan Plan Plan
This is why I don't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep for 2 weeks now without a sleeping aid of some kind. Its frustrating because this is all I think of anymore. If I had to think of anything else, I'd explode. Pray that I'll be able to prioritize these things and get my life a lot less frantic!!
I've been having a wonderful Christmas break so far, but I'm ready to move back into the dorms next Wednesday. Christmas was wonderful. I got all I asked for and more, including a new camera, digital picture frame, cell phone, movie musicals (MY FAVES!) and some cute new t-shirts that I love! Santa was super kind to me this year! We got Rock Band too, which is so much fun! I can rock out pretty hard on those drums! :)
I did mine and Sarah's makeup. I was very proud of how feline we looked!
She's a GIANT!!!! we look so... weird. :)
our friend, will came over and helped us take the pics.. we had fun hanging out with him!!
MY ROOMIES!!! (and our beautiful Christmas Decorations!!!
I didn't realize how long it's been since my last post. I'm terribly sorry about that! :)
Just a little update in the life of me:
1. this semester is finally over--well... almost. I have to finish out this week and next monday but then i'm home free!!! Praise the LORD!!
2. CATS is going well. We have at least 2 songs choreographed and almost all of the others have been worked on vocally. It seems to be a slow process but we're learning! It's a lot of fun--especially the dancing. I miss tapping, but I'm LOVING having to do it now! I expect to see you all at this thing: February 26th-March 1
3. I have a new commitment--and it involves a boy. :) His name is Dan... and he's my TRAINER!!! (so really my commitment is to me, and not to him, but it's fun to say it like that lol) I figured I should get in shape for the musical so mom hooked me up with Dan. He's been kicking my butt lately--and i love it. I can leg press over 150 lbs. he was about as shocked as i was. lol
4. I miss my camp friends. That's really all i can say about that.
5. I can't wait for Christmas to get here. I love Christmas. I love being with my family at Christmas. I love sitting at home and not doing anything at Christmas. (I have a feeling Dan's not gonna like that about me very much :P). I just love Christmas in general.
Well that's really been about it with me lately. I'm really just trying desperately hard to find excuses to not study for this silly Lit exam. Who's idea was it to cram 350 years of literature in one class anyway? ugh. Anyway, Love ya Mean it!!!
I was thinking tonight about a boy I went to highschool with, J.T., who had been bitten by a spider in middle school. The doctors did whatever they had to do to remove the poison from his body. However, in eleventh grade, years after the spider was forgotten about, he was suddenly faced with heart failure. The poison from the spider years ago had infected his heart. Luckily, the doctors found a heart just in time and J.T. is fully recovered and healthy.
God laid it on my heart tonight that that poison from the spider bite is sin. You can do whatever you think you have to do to remove it from your life, but until you have a full heart transplant, that poison stays with you.
I don't know if you understand what I'm getting at, but I think it's time for some major heart surgery. Luckily for us, it's not as painful or as long a recovery as J.T.'s was.
